


Sometimes you just need a kick in the ass (or 3 times Luke almost went to LA to see Noah and the one time he did)

by cindyls1969



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 23:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9295043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cindyls1969/pseuds/cindyls1969
Summary: Luke is having a hard time trying to figure out when (or even if) he needs to join Noah in LA. Some people help him figure it all out.Sorry it's taken me so long to complete.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetiejelly/gifts).



#1  
Luke stormed into the farmhouse, and all it took was one look for Emma to know that her grandson was not in a good mood. He kicked off his boots and practically threw his coat at the wall and she was pretty sure that it only hit the hook and stayed by accident. Squashing her urge to chide him about the snow melting on the floor she turned back to the counter and resumed stirring the cookie batter she’d been working on when the door slammed open.

“Something wrong sweetheart?” She grabbed the bowl of raisins and poured them into the batter and continued stirring.

Luke sighed as he stomped behind her across the kitchen and grabbed a mug out of the cupboard. “Wrong? What could possibly be wrong? I just went and had lunch with my parents and they are disgustingly happy at the moment. Why would anything be wrong?”

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

Luke growled and poured himself a coffee before sitting down at the table. “I just…” He trailed off, rubbing his hands over his face before continuing. “I’m glad they’re back together and happy. It’s how it should be. But they need to understand that not everyone is like them, not everyone is destined to find their soulmate or whatever!”

Emma could hear the quotation marks around the word soulmate. “What’s this about baby?” She was pretty sure she knew but she also understood that he needed to talk about it and work things out on his own. Lily and Holden meant well, but they should have realized a long time ago that Luke was too much like them both to be pushed into doing   
something he wasn’t ready for. 

She looked over her shoulder. Her grandson was slumped over his coffee and looked to be at the point of tears. “Luke?”

“Noah.” He took a deep breath and blew it out. “Of course. They won’t leave me alone about him.”

Emma sighed and turned away from the cookie batter, wiping her hands on her apron as she approached the table and sat across from Luke. “I’m sorry baby. You know they just want you to be happy. And to be honest, I think they miss Noah as well. He really became a part of this family didn’t he?” 

She reached over and took Luke’s hand in hers. “But that’s no excuse for them to keep badgering you. You’d think that they would know better than to try and butt into your love life by now. Lord knows that the two of them haven’t exactly been the world’s greatest role models when it comes to romantic relationships.”

Luke snorted and squeezed her hand. “You think?” He took a deep breath, obviously trying to get a handle on his emotions and then blew it out. “I just have so much going on in my head and I wish they’d just give me some time to figure things out. Reid’s only been gone for four months and I’m still trying to work through it all.”

Emma’s heart broke for her grandson. He’d been through so much in his young life, and losing Reid hurt him badly, but she suspected that there was more than one reason for that. 

“You cared a great deal about that man and it’s okay for you to take all the time you need to deal with his loss. I think your parents just have a hard time because they never got to know him outside of his hospital persona and I think even you have to admit, that wasn’t the most pleasant side of him.” Emma knew that there had to have been something other than the arrogant medical professional that grated on everyone’s nerves to Reid Oliver for Luke to be so attracted to him, but she’d never seen it herself. “He was just so different from Noah and it confused them.”

“I know Grandma. And I think…” Luke stopped and swallowed hard before continuing. “I think that was one of the things that attracted me to him. I mean, I couldn’t seem to stop screwing things up with Noah and part of me thought that maybe I needed to try with someone totally different. But it wasn’t really working.”

“Oh Luke.” She wanted to get up and hug him tight but knew he needed to get out whatever was stuck in his head and making him crazy.

“I think part of what’s making me so nuts is that all along, I knew I didn’t really love him. I mean, I cared a lot about him but I knew it wouldn’t last. We had nothing in common. That was already starting to strain our relationship before he died. I should have admitted it but I’m kinda stubborn you know?” Luke looked up at her, a self-depreciating smile on his face. “Everyone kept telling me he was wrong for me, so I was determined to prove them wrong.”

Emma smile encouragingly and squeezed Luke’s hand. “Not the greatest basis for being with someone, huh?”

Luke shook his head. “No. And Reid deserved better than being an act of defiance and a way to try and get over Noah. He deserved someone who loved him heart and soul.” Luke wiped his eyes with his free hand. “And he had both you know. I saw it in the little things that no one noticed…and the way he died proved that too. He was determined to save Chris. And in the end he did, just not the way he thought.”

Emma did get up then and walked around to wrap her arms around Luke. She rocked him slowly as he cried, something she hadn’t seen him do since Reid had died. “You didn’t set out to hurt him Luke. I think he must have cared about you too. And I also think you were probably good for him. You challenged him in a way he hadn’t been before and that is something everyone needs once in a while to bring them out of themselves.”

Luke sat back, pulling his hand from Emma’s. “I just feel like I let everyone down.” He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. “Maybe I should just go to LA. I mean, he asked me to come right? So why not go?”

“Because you need to make sure you’re ready.” Emma smile at Luke. “Noah’s waiting for you but before you go you have to make sure that it’s going to be about you and him, not just about doing what everyone else wants. It’s not fair to Noah and it won’t work between you if you can’t give him your whole heart.”

“But I love him Grams. I always have.” Luke looked so confused and a little scared and Emma’s heart broke for him all over again. 

“I know that sweetie, but are you still in love with him? Because that’s the part that matters.” She waited patiently while he battled with himself.

“I don’t know. My world feels wrong without him, but I don’t know if that’s because I’m in love with him or because I’m just so used to him being a part of my life.” He flopped forward, putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know how to figure this out.”

Reaching over, Emma ran her fingers through Luke’s hair. “You’ve got time Luke. Don’t rush it just to get it over with. And don’t let others push you either. You’ll figure it out, I know it.”

Luke looked up at her and gave her a small smile. “Grams, can I stay here for a while? I don’t want to live alone but being at Mom and Dad’s is just too much for me right now.”  
Emma patted his cheek before getting up and going back to her cookies. “Of course you can. Your old room is just how you left it. Stay as long as you like. You know I love the company.”

Luke grinned. “Of course, there is the added benefit of home-made cookies right?”

“Exactly! Snyder farm is known for its excellent fringe benefits. Of course, it also maybe means you can chip in with the chores right?”

Emma was being a little sneaky. She knew that Luke needed a little distraction right now and helping with the horses was one of Luke’s favorite things to do. It was a win-win for everyone.

Luke’s smile was genuine now and it did Emma’s heart good to see it. “Of course! It’s been too long since I’ve done any riding and the last time I was here I think Skywalker was mad at me for neglecting him."

Emma chuckled. “Well, you always did spoil him a bit.” 

Luke shrugged. “He deserves it.” He trailed off, frowning a bit. “Grams are you sure I’m doing the right thing? Not going I mean?”

Emma shook her head. “You’re the only one who can decide that Luke. And I think you already figured out the answer. Don’t let other people make you question your instincts.”

Luke nodded and stood up. “You’re right, but then again, you usually are.” Leaning down he kissed her on the cheek. “I’m going out to the barn. Gonna have a chat with Skywalker before I run back to Mom’s to get my stuff, okay?”

Emma leaned into him for a moment before answering. “Sounds great. Dinner will be at 6. Not sure what yet, because I wasn’t expecting company, but I have a feeling you’ll like it.”

Luke grinned. “When you cook, I always do.” He bounced toward the door. “Love you Grams.” He opened the screen door and was gone in the same flurry of chaos as he arrived. 

“Love you too Luke.” She started putting cookie dough on the baking sheet, snorting when she realized they were oatmeal raisin. Maybe Luke wasn’t the only one missing Noah. But they were all gonna be just fine.

#2   
Ally stormed into the barn, ready to tear Luke’s head off. She was sick and tired of all the bullshit between Luke and Noah and she aimed to fix it right now. 

“Luke, get your scrawny ass out here!” Ally was done listening to Noah mourn over Luke and she knew that Casey was about done with Luke as well. If no one else had the balls to step in, she did.

“Ally? What’s wrong?” Luke came around the corner and for a moment she couldn’t help but stare. Luke had been living with his grandmother for 2 months and she honestly couldn’t hardly believe the change in him. 

He was tanned and looked like he’d gotten some sleep, something he’d been sorely lacking for a long time. Since Noah’s accident most likely. 

“Ally?” 

Alison shook herself. “You look good.”

Luke raised an eyebrow at her. “Thanks? Now why were you yelling at me?”

Ally squared her shoulders. “Noah needs you.”

The smirk left Luke’s face in a hurry. “Is he okay? What happened? Is it his eyes?” He pulled out his phone and started tapping. “I can get a flight in a couple hours? Is someone with him?”

Alison stepped forward and put her hand on Luke’s arm, getting his attention. “He’s fine, physically anyhow.”

“What the hell Ally? What are you trying to pull?” Luke ran his fingers through his hair, stress once more taking hold of his expression.

Alison felt terrible. “I’m sorry Luke. I didn’t mean to scare you. I should have thought. I’m just frustrated.” 

“Frustrated? What are you talking about?” His genuine confusion made her feel worse.

“Noah! That’s what I’m talking about!” She turned away, pacing in between the stalls. “He’s trying so hard to get on with his life in LA, but it’s not working!”

Luke sighed. “Ally, I can’t make him get a life. He has to do that for himself.”

Alison glared at him. “I know that. Really I do. But he’s pining for you Luke. He goes on dates but there’s never a second one with the same person. He goes out with friends and comes home alone.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s pining for me or whatever. It just means that he hadn’t found the right guy yet.” Luke flailed his arms, clearly frazzled. “Stop putting it on me.”

Alison walked over and took Luke’s face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “Luke, I talk to Noah twice a week. He’s happy mostly. He loves his work and is enjoying the challenge of learning and creating new things. But he also misses you. He blames himself for everything and yes, I know that’s not good, but he’s also in therapy figuring stuff out.” 

Luke’s eyes widened. It was obviously news to him. “He’s in therapy?” He pulled away, looking down at his hands. “I’m glad. It’s something he’s needed for a long time. Growing up with Colonel Crazy is definitely something one would need help getting over.”

Luke walked over to a bench that was set against the wall and sank down to sit on it. “But if he’s trying to figure himself out, then the last thing he needs is me piling my shit onto his shoulders.”

Alison sighed and sat beside him, nudging him with her shoulder. “Luke, he loves you. He’s never stopped loving you even when he didn’t know how to do it well.”  
Luke looked at her. “It may be a cliché, but sometimes love isn’t enough. We both have so many things in our past that we have to deal with, and I have a feeling that its stuff that we need to do on our own.”

His big brown eyes were watery and sad and Alison could have kicked herself for being so impulsive. “So there’s no chance for the two of you?” The thought broke her heart. She’d always believed they were meant for each other.

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. What I do know is that until we get our heads screwed on straight, it would be like banging our heads into a wall and that won’t help either of us.”

Alison put her arm around him, smiling sadly when Luke dropped his head to rest on her shoulder. “I get it Luke. I really do. I just hate seeing you both so miserable. It makes me wanna do crazy things to get you back together.”

Luke chuckled. “That’s because you’re an awesome friend to both of us. And that’s why I know that you’re going to let us work this out for ourselves. No more locking us onto rooftops, you got it?”

Alison nodded, oddly comforted by the feel of Luke’s soft hair against her cheek. “I promise.” She kissed the top of his head and sat quietly for a moment before speaking again. “But if you need someone to talk to, please consider me okay? You know I’d do anything for you.”

Luke slipped an arm around her waist and hugged her tightly. “I will. And thanks.”

Alison rubbed her hand up and down Luke’s arm absentmindedly. She loved Luke and Noah so much. They’d been so good to her when other people weren’t and it killed her to think she couldn’t help them in return. 

She hadn’t given up hope though. If anyone could figure out how to walk through fire and come out unsinged at the other end it was Noah Mayer and Luke Snyder and so all she had to do was wait and be a good friend while they found their way back to each other. 

She put her hand on her belly and smiled. And maybe this little surprise she was going to spring on them would help.   
Right after she told Casey. 

#3  
Luke looked up as Nat walked into the living room. She’d gotten so tall over the summer and he was pretty sure that when she hit about 16 he was going to have to fight the boys off with a big stick. 

At the moment, however, she looked like she’d lost her best friend and that just wouldn’t do. 

“Hey Bug. What’s up?” Luke grinned when she looked up at him and smiled. That was better.

Nat shook her head. “Nothing.” She looked down at her shoes, sighing. “It’s just…do you think I’m weird?”

Frowning, Luke reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her over to sit beside him on the couch. “Of course not! Why would I think that?”

She shrugged and leaned against him. “Cassie Bell told Michael Evans that I was a freak because I like bugs and stuff.”

Luke’s heart broke for her. Nothing like a middle school kid for nasty behavior. “You’re not a freak. Everyone just likes different stuff and that’s okay. The world would be kind of boring if we all liked the same things.”

“Yeah, I know.” Nat was quiet for a moment before continuing. “I wish Noah was here. He didn’t think I was weird.”

Luke chuckled. “No, he really didn’t. I’m pretty sure you were his favorite Snyder.” 

Nat pulled back and looked up at him. “No, I wasn’t. You were.” Her big brown eyes looked at him. “I don’t understand what happened Luke. Noah loved you so much. Why did you stop loving him?”

Luke’s heart lurched in his chest. How did he explain the fucked up situation between him and Noah to a kid?

She looked down at the floor. “Mama says I’m not supposed to ask you because it makes you sad but I don’t know who else to ask. No one tells me anything and one day he was just gone!”

Luke hugged her tightly, grateful when she hugged him back. “First of all, you can always ask me anything, even if you think it will make me sad. I’m your big brother and it’s my job to help you okay?”

She nodded against his chest but didn’t let go.

Luke sighed. “Would you believe me if I told you that I don’t exactly know what happened either?” 

Nat pulled back and looked up at him again. “You can stop loving people and not know why?” She looked a little scared and he hurried to reassure her.

“I didn’t stop loving him Nat. There was just so much stuff that got in the way. Our parents, my drinking, his accident and I think we both got distracted. We forgot how to see each other and understand each other.” He stopped, wanting to choose his words carefully. “We just got lost and then Reid came along and he treated me like I was special, like he needed me right when Noah was trying to establish his independence and made me feel useless.”

“Oh.” Nat took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry.” 

Luke smiled softly at her. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I know. But you look sad. I don’t like it.” She was so earnest and Luke wished that everyone was as honest as she was about their feelings. Life would be so much easier.

“I’m okay Bug. And so are you. And don’t let Cassie Bell get you down. You’re smart and funny and kind and someday you’ll meet someone who will appreciate all the amazing things about you.” He hugged her again. 

“Luke? Do you think Noah will ever come back? I miss him a lot.” 

Luke stroked her arm. “I don’t know. I miss him a lot too. You could call him though. I bet he’d love to hear from you.”

Nat looked up at him, her face brightening. “Really? You think he’d talk to me?”

Luke laughed. “Of course he would. You wanna try now?” 

Nat jumped up and down. “Yes please Luke!”

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Luke closed his eyes and sent up a quick prayer that Noah really wouldn’t mind. Pulling up his contacts, he took a deep breath and hit the first number on the list. 

As the phone rang he wasn’t really sure if he hoped Noah would answer or not. But after the second ring, Noah’s voice was echoing in his ear.  
“Luke?” 

Guess his number was still in Noah’s phone too. “Hi Noah.”

“Is everything okay?” Luke’s heart was pounding but it didn’t drown out the concern in Noah’s voice. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Are you busy? I have someone here who’s missing you and wanted to talk.” The sparkle in Nat’s eyes was totally worth the ache in his heart.

“Uhm, okay. I’ve got some time. Who is it?” Noah was just as adorable as ever when he was confused. 

“Hold on.” He held out the phone to his sister who grabbed it. She put the phone up to her ear. “Hello Noah.”

Luke could almost see Noah’s smile as he realized who it was. “Nat! Hey Bug, how are you doing?”

Natalie grinned and babbled on. Luke sat back and tuned out the conversation, choosing instead to focus on pushing back the urge to leave for LA as soon as he could get a flight.   
He knew he wasn’t ready yet…but he also knew that keeping Noah waiting wasn’t fair either. The time was coming, he could feel it in his soul and he would have to make his choice and once he did, there would be no going back. 

+1  
Luke wasn’t going to lie…not to himself anyways. He thought he would be nervous. Not about flying. He’d flown lots of times. He thought that his destination would make him anxious, but it wasn’t.

When he’d stepped on to the plane the only thing he could think was that he couldn’t wait to get to LA because Noah was waiting.   
They’d been talking to each other on the phone a lot. It had started with stupid jokes and goofy pictures being sent back and forth across the country as they both tried their hardest to make the other one laugh. 

That had led to late night phone calls that sometimes lasted until morning. 

It wasn’t always nice…or happy. But they’d finally put a few issues to rest like Luke’s insecurity and Noah’s sometimes deliberate obtuseness when it came to things like people trying to come between them.

They’d talked about Reid and how he’d become so important to Luke, not only because he was a better man than anyone had given him credit for, but also because he made Luke feel wanted and needed at a time when Noah was desperate to find his independence. Not because he didn’t love Luke, but because he was so sure that Luke couldn’t keep loving him. So maybe Noah’s insecurity was an issue that was addressed too. 

But in the end they realised that while their lives could go on separately and eventually they would probably find happiness again, what they wanted was the chance to see if the first love they’d found in each other could be nurtured and grow to be their last love as well.

Luke needed a change and Noah’s career was starting to take off in LA so Luke packed up his stuff and put most of it in storage, to be shipped later once they’d spent some time together and figured out if his move would be permanent. 

When the plane finally landed, it didn’t take Luke long to round up his luggage and hail a cab and he was on his way to Noah’s apartment. 

They’d agreed that Noah would not pick Luke up at the airport because first of all, Luke knew he’d probably cry and he didn’t want to do that in public, and second of all, Noah was cooking Luke dinner and Luke wasn’t about to miss out on that. 

So maybe Luke stomach was full of butterflies as he carried his bags up to Noah’s door but that was to be expected right?

He raised his fist to knock but the door opened before he got the chance and he found himself face to face with brilliant blue eyes and a smile as bright as the sun.

“Hi.” Luke dropped his bags carelessly at his feet and reached up to touch Noah’s cheek. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen this face.”

Noah blushed. “We Skyped the day before yesterday Luke. It hasn’t been that long.”

Luke shook his head, stroking Noah’s face. “No, that doesn’t count.” 

Noah’s arms came up to rest on Luke’s shoulders. “I missed you too. Can I hug you now?”

Luke grinned and wrapped his arms around Noah’s waist, pulling him close. “Absolutely!”

Hugging Noah felt like coming home and Luke pressed his face into Noah’s chest to hold back the tears. “I’m so glad to be here.” He pulled back and looked at Noah. Can I come in?”

Noah laughed and reached for Luke’s bags, lifting them easily and setting them in the entryway. “Get your ass in here Snyder!”

Luke entered the apartment and closed the door behind him. Looking around, he could see the main area that seemed to consist of a combined living room and kitchen. There were pictures everywhere and it tugged at Luke’s heartstrings that most of them were of him and his family. There were a few others though. Noah’s mom, Casey and Alison and Katie and Chris. 

“It looks good in here Noah. I like it a lot.” Luke toed off his shoes and wandered through the room. He recognized some of the little keepsakes that sat on various tables and shelves and as he got closer to the kitchen he could see that one of Nat’s artistic bug impressions was stuck to the fridge in a place of honor.

Noah shrugged. “It’s not much but I love the location.” He steered Luke to the window and pulled back the curtains. The sun was starting to set and it turned the world outside purple and blue and if Luke turned just right, he could see the ocean in the distance. 

Luke turned back to Noah, impulsively hugging him again. “I’m so glad I’m here.”

“Me too.” Those two words held a wealth of feelings and the last bit of uncertainty that he’d done the right thing floated away. 

Pulling back, Luke looked into Noah’s eyes. There was a time when he couldn’t see the love that was so clearly shining through them but now there were no doubts. He reached up and curled his hand around the back of Noah’s neck, moving slowly as to give Noah time to object but Noah just moved forward, closing the last big of distance between them. 

The kiss was electric. It took him back to all those years ago when Noah had first found the courage to take what he wanted. Noah tasted of coffee and spices and Luke wanted so much more. Noah lifted his head for a moment before gathering Luke in his arms and slotting their mouths together again, this time not stopping until they both had to catch their breath. 

Resting his forehead on Noah’s, Luke carded his fingers through the short, silky hair on the back of Noah’s neck. He didn’t know what was gonna happen, but he knew one thing…he and Noah would get through it together.


End file.
